blog

mid-june summary

so far, i'd consider my summer a success. keeping busy hasn't been especially difficult between my morning part-time job, working out, and tending to my hobbies (like making this website). in past years, i really struggled to make my summer break meaningful. i realized this stemmed from not having enough things in my life that i was passionate about. finding joy in a break, that i without fail looked forward to every year, was ridiculously difficult. i spent most of my time on a screen consuming instead of creating.

breaking this cycle of inactivity followed by frustration wasn't easy. it look a lot of trial-and-error to figure out what i could do with my time that felt truly meaningful. at first, i just tried to be as "productive" as possible. if what i was doing wasn't directly going to create some big change or benefit to my life, it wasn't worth my time. i was so focused on myself that i neglected time with others.

a few breakdowns later, i realized this obviously was not the path i was destined for. productivity is great, but you need balance. rest is just as, if not more, important. you can't have one without the other (unless falling apart at the seams is appealing to you). understanding that it's okay to just do things for fun-- not for a greater accomplishment-- has been so freeing to me. what's the point of a productive life if there's not fondness in any memory of it? all that to say, i have plenty to share about my past few weeks. first and foremost: the creation of this site. i don't expect this to reach many eyes, but it's a fun way to document my life that's beyond just a journal entry or social media posts. i try to stay off of most social media platforms just because i know i will get sucked into them. so, a personal website seemed like a good medium between sharing nothing and having my life oversimplified down to a highlight reel.

exploring my surroundings

i've had the privilege to travel around a bit this summer. i live in the suburbs, so just being able to be out in rural areas or with more access to nature is a novelty. exploring the wilderness is such a centering experience. again, this is something i neglected in a sprial of trying to do as "much" as possible. time to just sit with myself and the sound of the breeze was-- as ridiculous as it sounds-- previously a waste of time. doing "less" has left me feeling more fulfilled this summer. (i'll add a photo slideshow thing here later)

creations

july has been a big month for creativity. i've baked, drawn, and crocheted more in the past few weeks than i had since january. see my "kitchen" and "art" page for more in-depth entries (and photos). some highlights were perfecting my iced lattes, baking colorful sugar cookies, sewing pants from a thrifted bedsheet, and character designs (see naia and raine under planet.cove of the oc universe). if you're looking for project inspiration, some things i'm looking forward to doing/making the rest of this month are as follows:

• making paper beads
• sewing a matching set from bedsheets
• paper garland
• finishing up character design sheets
• dedicating more time to traditional art
• premature halloween costume planning (salmon run slopsuit, for me)
• bleach painting one of my tank tops

closing thoughts

i'm liking summer so far, basically. happy pride, everyone!!